Starting over Chapter 27

Chapter twenty seven
Meg was sitting in the middle of her bed hugging a pillow. Ben sat down facing her. He put a finger under the chin and lifted her head up. Meg’s tears hurt him to the bone.

“Meg, what’s wrong, is there something you’re not telling me?” Meg looked apologetically at him “Meg there isn’t anything in the world you can’t tell me about. I love you Meg, no matter what happened in your past” Ben took her hands “You and John…” Meg looked up again “There is a past between you both isn’t there?” “Meg please tell me”

Meg got off the bed and walked over to the window. She looked outside, it had started to snow a bit “I guess we’ll have to spend Valentine’s day here, the weather doesn’t look so good” she stated. Leaning against the window sill she looked over at Ben and took a deep breath. “You’re right” she started “John and I have a past” Ben made efforts to get up “No Ben, I can’t tell if you’re too close” “I’ve always thought it was Tim who hurt you so bad” Ben said “Oh Ben it was. John never hurt me. Not deliberately” Meg turned to look outside again. “You see…” she started over “Tim and I grew up together, he was always around since his parents worked here at the farm. We played all over, in the barn, in the orchard. The summer before we turned twelve we kissed for the first time” Meg looked over her shoulder at Ben “It was this sweet young teen’s romance at first and it just faded out, nothing to it” she shrugged her shoulders “I met John in high school, it was his senior year and I was over the moon that he saw me, little farm-girl Meg” she thought back to the meeting this afternoon, John still looked as good as then, but he wasn’t handsome as Ben. “This was true love” Meg went on “Or at least we thought so. John was the captain of the football team and I was a cheerleader” Ben looked at her offering his embrace but she shook her head “You know all those American traditions with homecoming, pledging true love forever and so on…” she took a breath “So, it was in the middle of summer. My parents were away for the evening and John came by” Meg held onto her shoulders “We watched a movie, or at least we started to. Both of us were more interested in kissing really” Meg walked over and sat down besides Ben “What I’m going to tell you you’ll only be the fourth person to know, it’s only been, me, mom and John so far, if John’s not told anyone that is” Ben put his arm around her shoulders “You know you can tell me, I’m not judging you and I’m not telling on you either” “That evening I just told about, well the kisses led further and we ended up in bed. It was the first time for us both” Meg’s eyes started to tear up again “After that we took every chance we could get and one time we were too eager and…” she didn’t want to put it in words. “Well first I didn’t know what to think but then I had an early miscarriage and I understood what could have been” Ben pulled her closer and kissed her tears “I’m so sorry Meg, I wish I could take your pain away” they both sat there holding onto each other “Was that why John never came back you think?” Meg shook her head “No, I think he saw me and Tim when he was here that autumn. I know he was hurting when he left, and seeing me with Tim…. I guess he thought I had forgotten and moved on” Ben took Meg into his arms and held her tight and she let the tears come again. “I’ve not thought about it for years, meeting John made it come up to the surface again” she said as she rested her head on Ben’s shoulder. “Will you be ok with him coming for dinner on Saturday?” Ben asked concerned and Meg looked up at him “Yes, will you… now that you know it all?” Ben kissed her softly “We all have pasts, and there’s nothing we can do about that is there?” Ben stretched out on the bed towards the night stand where he took out a box and handed it to Meg “I thought I’d end off today with this, but it somehow feels appropriate to give it to you now” Meg took the box and opened it. Inside was a simple gold chain necklace with an angel hanging from it” “Oh Ben, it’s absolutely beautiful” Ben took it out to put around Meg’s neck “It was one of the things I brought back from England” he smiled and kissed her neck “Happy Valentine’s Day” Meg turned around to face Ben “Oh Ben, I’ve ruined the evening haven’t I, by telling you about me and John” Ben held her in his arms “Well I had thought we’d spend the evening in some other way, but I’m glad you trust me enough to tell” Meg hugged him closer “I feel so safe in your arms Ben” they laid down on top of the bed just holding each other and that’s how they fell asleep very early on their first Valentine’s Day together.

The bingo night went on just as Meg had predicted, she and Ben was presented to the whole town and then everyone wanted to know about her life in California. As meg saw how Ben loved this small town attention she didn’t mind that much. At one time thought when Ben told his st0ry again he lent towards Meg and whispered “I guess I know what you mean now about everyone wanting to know everything” But in all it was a lovely evening. The next day Ben kepy busy in the kitchen almost all afternoon, he and Meg hadn’t talked anymore since the other evening and being alone in the kitchen gave Ben a lot of time to think. Ben knew that Meg she that she could talk to him whenever she felt “Dare I enter?” Joan asked as she passed Ben in the door “Of course, but stay out of your pots” he joked “Promise” she held her hands up as in surrender “it smells lovely though and I’m curious what’s in them” Ben smiled secretly “That’s for me to know and you to find out later” Ben had asked Meg to help him set the table and about half an hour before the guests were to arrive the doorbell rang. Ben knew Hank and Joan were in the stables “Meg, will you open the door” he called even though he knew he was closest to it “I can’t leave the pots” Meg went to open the door and Ben walked over to he could see her. Meg ‘flatten’ her clothes just as she was ready to great guests but to her surprise there was a delivery man “Meg Cummings?” he asked “Yes” “I’ve got a delivery for you, if you sign here I’ll go get it” Meg didn’t know what to think and then she saw what the man brought over, it was one of the biggest bouquets of white roses she’d ever seen “You certainly are a lucky lady” the man said “These don’t come cheap this time of year” Meg reached for her purse to tip the man, then she wished him a nice evening. “Ben Evans” she called and found Ben standing in the door. She sighed “You’re amazing” she put the vase down and went over to kiss him “No Meg” Ben said when they broke the kiss “You are, happy belated Valentine’s Day” he smiled and looked her deep in the eyes. “Wow, where did these come from?” they both turned to see Joan looking at the roses. Meg beamed at her mother “They’re mine, Ben ordered them and they just arrived” “They’re your favorite” Joan said and Meg nodded and picked the vase up, she carried it into the dining room and put them on a side-table.

The evening was filled with laughter over dinner and dessert. Around ten thirty the young ones; Ben and Meg, John and Amelia left for the Buckaroo. Amelia had told that her parents both were inspired by Amelia Earhart and of course her brothers; one older and one younger were named Orville and Wilbur after the Wright brothers. That had made an easy topic to talk about. Amelia was a girl from the next county so around two in the morning they dropped her off and went back to Ludlow. Amelia had promised to come to church with the following lunch at John and his parents place the next day.
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